A new collection of my scorching reviews of terrible restaurants.

Publ October 4 (perfectly timed for Christmas). Price: £5.

‘Jay Rayner isn’t just a trifle irritated. He is eye-gougingly, bone-crunchingly teeth-grindingly angry. And admit it – that’s the only reason you’re here, isn’t it?’

I’m delighted and thrilled if not contractually obliged to announce that, on October 4, Guardian Faber will publish Wasted Calories and Ruined Nights, a second collection of 20 of my most negative restaurant reviews. Some might argue that this is a dark and disobliging move, which adds little to the sum of human happiness. I would argue that you’re all horrid people who adore reading the utter shitbaggings much more than anything else, as the success of the first volume, My Dining Hell, proves. I could, of course, have published a collection of my most positive reviews but who among you would have bought that?

This one includes my accounts of dinner at Beast, The Farm Girl Cafe and, of course, Le Cinq in Paris. There’s an introduction which describes the aftermath of the publication of that review of the Parisian Michelin 3 Star, and I look at what happened after each of the other reviews. It is a beautifully crafted volume and you’ll want to buy copies for every member of your family this Christmas. Or I’ll sulk. Look, it’s only a fiver. What have you go to lose?

Incidentally there are 10 tickets left for My Dining Hell, my show about lousy restaurants and why we like reading about them.          Crazy Coqs, London, tomorrow night, Sept 5. Tickets HERE.

There are more tickets available for The Ten Food Commandments, also at the Crazy Coqs, on Sept 11. Tickets HERE

All of my other shows, both comedy and jazz, are listed HERE

 

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SELL WASTED CALORIES AND RUINED NIGHTS? 

With both My Dining Hell and The Ten Food Commandments we found that there were a whole bunch of non-traditional retail outlets for books which did very well with these small but perfectly formed volumes which sit beautifully by the till: think delis and cafes, butchers and B&Bs. If you would like to stock this new one please email me at [email protected] and I will put you in touch with the right sales person at Guardian Faber, who will sort you out.

Last time I did this Michael Gove got weirdly cross about it. But then it was just before Christmas, and I think the spirit of the season had got to him. I’m hoping that, now he’s back in government and very important, he’ll be too busy to have a go.

 

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Why your dinner does not always need to have had a pulse.

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Oi you! Yes you! The one whingeing about the cost of the restaurants I review: READ THIS. (A one-size-fits-all response).